Today’s post starts a little like Bridget Jones’ Diary. My life has become a series of statistics and medications. It sucks, but it is what it is.
Weight: 128.4 kg
BMI: 48 (morbidly obese)
BGL: 15.4 mmol/L (target 6-8 mmol/L*)
Yesterday was a massive wake up call.
I visited my endocrinologist for my quarterly check up. I had a feeling my levels would be elevated, but not that bad!
I have become seriously lax when it comes to managing my diabetes. Thanks to an ongoing kitchen renovation (and laziness), we’ve been eating so poorly. Loads of takeaway and ready meals…resulting in dangerously high blood glucose levels (BGL). My fasting BGL was 17.9 mmol/L!! I burst into tears knowing that it meant I’d have to start insulin injections. My cholesterol levels were also elevated, so another tablet was added to my day. Am I starting to rattle when I move? So now my day looks a little like this…
– Checking my blood glucose levels before every meal and before I head to bed
– Injecting myself with NovoRapid before I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner
– Injecting myself with Lantus prior to going to bed
– Swallowing a tonne of tablets for diabetes, cholesterol, and depression
(no shit I’m depressed)
– Recording everything in my diabetes record book for my endocrinologist, diabetes nurse, and gp to review
I’ll admit, I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed this morning. Thank goodness I took notes when my endo was filling me in on my new regime. I think I’ll need to create a check list for everything I need to take and do throughout the day so I don’t forget anything.
My escalating diabetes issues further confirms to me that having weightloss surgery pronto is the best way to go. Looking thinner would be a bonus, but reducing my blood glucose levels to “normal” is the ultimate goal.
Time to pull my head out of the sand and get real. Wish me luck!
*mmol/L = millimoles per litre
I had always dismissed weightloss surgery, despite the fact that several doctors have recommended it to me over the years. The first time it was mentioned was nine years ago. Imagine how different my life could have been if I’d just listened. At the time, my only health issue was my weight and I thought that if I just gave a diet a red hot go, that I could do it myself. Since then I tried every diet known to man. I successfully lost weight, and then successfully put it all back on…and then some.
I recently joined a couple of facebook support groups for people that have sought to improve their health via gastric sleeve surgery. The number of people seeking permanent weightloss solutions is very eye-opening. It’s so easy to be so consumed with your own issues and to feel alone in your struggle. The reality is, you aren’t alone, and everyone’s struggles are very very real. Choosing to have gastric sleeve surgery, or any kind of weightloss surgery for that matter, is usually the last resort and the act of someone who is desperate to regain their health and their life. It is not a decision that is taken lightly, nor the easy way out.
I asked a few friends why they chose gastric sleeve surgery…
The deciding factor for me was the embarrassment of flying for work and having to ask the airline for a spare seat beside me. Just the looks of others as I was walking down the aisle made me want to jump right off the plane. When I got to Malaysia I also didn’t do everything I wanted to because I knew I wouldn’t be able to walk for too long…. Definitely knew it was time to do something. – Michelle A.
I realized that the children I spent the last ten years trying to have, carrying and breastfeeding wouldn’t have me around if I didn’t do something, and that I wanted to see my grandchildren. – Anon
I was very overweight, but had no co-morbidities… that wasn’t going to go on forever. I wanted to live my live, not just survive it. I wanted to continue my adventures with my new husband and not sit back as a spectator wishing I could do that. – Michelle T.
I did it to stop the battle in my head over whether today a would be a good eating day or a bad one….I did it to stop feeling overwhelming regret and guilt on a constant basis. It was never about health or weightloss. It was about the constant self hatred. – Suzy
I was much like Suzi above, it was somewhat about health, but more about each day of self loathing due to 40 years of being obese and trying each day to “diet” without much success. At the age of 67 there is finally a tool that has helped me lose and I feel it is a workable solution for me. – Anon
I did it to save my life. At my heaviest I weighed 139kg. I didn’t stay at that weight for long but took too long losing it. As a result I was an overweight smoker for about 20 years. As a result I developed Diabetes Type II which went undiagnosed for many years. I was finally diagnosed when at 39 yrs of age and 100kg I had a massive heart attack. My body later rejected the 3 stents which had been implanted and I ended up having an emergency quintupple bypass. I developed endometrial cancer and required a radical hysterectomy with removal of 22 lymph nodes. As a result of missing lymph nodes I have developed lymphodema in both feet. As a result of clogged arteries I required an endartectomy where my neck was cut open and the carotid artery cleaned out. I have small blockages in my calves which make walking up an incline impossible and currently I have 3 fractures and 2 dislocations in my right foot and 1 fracture in my left. I now have a charcot right foot which may never regain normal shape. All of this has been a result of having undiagnosed diabetes as an obese smoker. I am 4 days post op, having had my surgery on my 42nd birthday at 101kg. Until my heart attack it was rare for me to have a sick day. Now I have a disability pension and a mobility scooter. I hope through my sleeve surgery to lose the excess weight, have full control of the diabetes and get rid of lots of medications. And I hope I have saved my life. – Melinda
My parents both struggled with their weight, and one week they had 7 doctor/specialist appointments between them. A week later I was told by a doctor that I needed to get my weight under control before I ended up down the same path as my parents. As I have a child with a rare medical condition, I was scared that I wasn’t going to be around in the future to help him and my other two children. I never want to have to tell my children I can’t help them because I’m too sick myself. – Tan
Every single person that chooses weightloss surgery has a very valid reason for doing so, and I can relate to every single one.
So, why am I heading down this path?
I have been overweight, and now morbidly obese, my entire adult life. A couple of years ago my wrist was aching terribly all the time. It was absolutely debilitating, so I sort medical help. I was diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome…which can be caused by obesity and diabetes. My doctor sent me for some blood tests to see if there were any other issues. Yep, you guessed it…type 2 diabetes. It was a shock, but not unexpected given my weight and family medical history. When I was first diagnosed, I could manage my diabetes with diet and exercise. I am now on oral medication. Unfortunately my diabetes is progressively getting worse. I was incredibly ill recently and my blood glucose levels sky rocketed into the 20’s, and I was very close to being admitted to hospital. I was so scared! Scared that I would have to be put on insulin, and scared of what will happen to my body if this continues…loss of eye sight, the possibility of losing my feet (just like my grandfather), and dying at an early age. Worst case scenario stuff, but it plagues my mind. The very next appointment I had with my endocrinologist, I asked for a referral for gastric sleeve surgery. I have been thinking about surgery for two years, but it wasn’t until recently that I made up my mind.
I have had friends who have had either the gastric balloon inserted, gastric band surgery or gastric sleeve surgery. I have been watching their progress closely and have decided that gastric sleeve surgery seems like the best fit for me. I needed it to be extreme and the assurance of permanency. I am confident it will work for me, and I am finally in a really good head space to undergo the procedure. From the very first moment I spoke with my surgeon, I felt a sense of calm. I know this is the right step for me.
Have you had weightloss surgery? What lead you to that decision?
Hi all, and welcome. First things first…who am I?
Here’s the deal. I turned 40 this year, and I thought by now I’d be feeling great and living life to the fullest. Sadly, that’s not happening. I’m just going through the motions, and I’m fed up.
For most of my life, I have been battling my weight. I have tried nearly every “diet” ever invented…losing weight, never getting to my goal, and then putting on more. It’s an incredibly vicious cycle.
My most “successful” weight loss occurred in 2006-7, where I lost 40 kg. I was starting to feel really good, and shopping in the “regular” clothes stores was the perfect reward.
It was during this time that I started having major gallstone attacks (it’s worse than child birth, trust me). In March 2007 I had lost enough weight so that I was no longer considered a “high risk” patient, and could be admitted as a normal patient to have my gall bladder removed. Afterwards, the surgeon told me that my gall bladder had deteriorated terribly, and they stopped counting stones at 20. It’s no wonder I was in pain. The first thing I wanted to eat as soon as I got home was grilled chicken, green beans, and mashed potato. I hadn’t eaten a potato in months and it was delicious!
Shortly after surgery, I became incredibly depressed and started to stack on the weight again. Only this time it didn’t take years; it was only a matter of months before I’d added 50 kg to my frame. This only served to make my depression worse. I didn’t want to leave the house, didn’t want to be seen in public, and basically wanted to hibernate. I was prescribed anti-depressants, and after adjusting brands and doses, I’m on medication that is helping.
Fast forward to March 2013. Almost overnight I had lost feeling my right hand, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t get it back. It was incredibly painful and I had no strength in my hand whatsoever. I went along to the doctors to see what was going on, and was diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome. A nerve conduction study and bone scan confirmed this, and I was referred for surgery.
“Let’s do some blood tests to see what else is going on.”
This is when I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I cried.
At first I was able to manage my diabetes through diet alone, and I was able to lose 15 kg by eating well and exercising my arse off. I also managed to regain feeling in my hand, and have avoided surgery (for now).
I haven’t been as diligent the past few months, however I’ve managed to keep the weight off. Phew! Unfortunately, my blood glucose levels have risen, and I’m now on medication. I’m hoping to avoid insulin injections in the future, but I need to learn to manage what I eat so that my blood glucose levels reduce.
As at today, I weigh 132.2 kg, with a BMI of 50.
My healthy weight range is 49-66 kg.
Essentially I have to lose a whole adult to get to my healthy weight range. Scary stuff!
So, I’m morbidly obese, a type 2 diabetic, and suffer from depression. Just thinking about my battle ahead makes me want to cry, but that’s not going to get me anywhere.
Thanks for joining me on my journey.